operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via delzdesigns)

jediteaparty:

arauj0:

aangnog:

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

(Source: terrakion, via delzdesigns)

tennislovet:

Seriously?
clipout:

The most impressive part of Kei Nishikori’s win was this no-look racket flip | For The Win

During his match with Djokovic, Nishikori bounced his racket off of the court, AND WITHOUT LOOKING, caught it behind his back.It was so effortless.

tennislovet:

Seriously?

clipout:

The most impressive part of Kei Nishikori’s win was this no-look racket flip | For The Win

During his match with Djokovic, Nishikori bounced his racket off of the court, AND WITHOUT LOOKING, caught it behind his back.

It was so effortless.

(via andymurrray)

Real back to school essentials

highly-functioningfangirl:

• Headphones
• 3 interesting facts about yourself
• a slightly exaggerated story about what you did this summer

(via andymurrray)

stunningpicture:

Made this for my boyfriend

stunningpicture:

Made this for my boyfriend

(via tumboner)

The way my books are structured, everyone was together, then they all went their separate ways and the story deltas out like that, and now it’s getting to the point where the story is beginning to delta back in, and the viewpoint characters are occasionally meeting up with each other now and being in the same point at the same time, which gives me a lot more flexibility for killing people.

George R.R. Martin Teases Lots of Death in TWOW (via joannalannister)

(via aryastarks)

hentaiviewer666:

reasons why babies are not needed:

  • head to body ratio is uneven
  • when was last time baby contribute to dinner time conversation
  • baby unable to hunt for the clan
  • baby is slow and usually racist

(Source: frankiemarx420, via delzdesigns)

takshammy:

seaking:

instead of desexualizing womens halloween costumes we should sexualize mens costumes and make it equal. i want boys in underwear and cat ears

I like your style, kid.

(via delzdesigns)

CUDDLE FUDDLE by DEDDY